trenchkamen: (Default)
Guys? That special water bottle you got me has gone 'missing', and I fear my father found it in my car.

Being kidnapped by penis-obsessed bandits and taken down to the ranch. And then we were called rug munchers. )

In all honesty, you guys completely made my night, and thank you for going through all that trouble just to drag my ass out of town and have some good, clean, eighteenth-birthday fun. I had a blast. I love all of you guys.
trenchkamen: (Default)
The numbers say none of you can ever call me an insensitive/forgetful/jerk-off friend again. Ever. )

SATs went pretty well. Math didn't go as well as I had anticipated, and US History, which I ended up taking as my third, was a bad idea since I was asked several 'identity' questions on acts I just flat-out don't remember. I should have done literature instead, though I try to steer clear of the subjective subjects as much as possible on standardized tests. Chemistry was cake; 90 questions in 40 minutes, no problem. I owe Mr. Brandt a retroactive cupcake or something for being such a relentless slavedriver a good teacher.

I rented Hannibal and the first disc of season one of House, M.D. on the way home, the latter being because [livejournal.com profile] keichisfuuma said Dr. House has all of my faults, amplified, and I must admit that I am curious as to what she means by that.

Past three hours went into photographing Mom's new products, since she (rightfully) doesn't want to spend upward of a thousand dollars to get them photographed professionally. My father drives me absolutely insane sometimes; by the end of the duration, I wanted to kill him. He's dictatorial and autocratic and he thinks he's right about everything, and that everybody else needs to have the most elementary things explained to him or her several times.

I hope to goodness I'm not his clone like my mother keeps saying I am, because I couldn't see how anybody could stand me if I was.

[livejournal.com profile] xcerebraledemax just came over to get her coat, and we had torrid, passionate sex a good talk while I polished the dirt and grime from the rocket project out of my boots. This is making me realize that when college comes around, I will probably be going elsewhere from my close friends, and I do not like the idea of that. I've finally found friends I truly never want to lose; the idea of being hundreds of miles away, unable to just drive over and lay on somebody's floor and talk with L'arc~en~Ciel playing in the background, is melancholy. There's always the internet, but I like being able to talk to people, look into their eyes and be in the same room, read their body language and feel their mental states. The phone is the intermediary step between Real Life and t3h internets, but truth to be told, I hate the phone. I don't know why.

But every high school senior goes through this, and it is not the first or the last time I will go through an uprooting.
trenchkamen: (Default)
I did what I could. I've done what I can. I will do what I can in the future. I stand by my friends through fair and foul; I'll do anything for them. But it isn't to be taken for granted. All I ask is civility in return. That's all. Civility and respect.

I ran the full gamut of emotions this afternoon, from concerned, to enraged, to calmer, to horrified, to scared, to cold. And I think vestiges of this plethora remain somewhere in my chest, leaving me very... calm and clear-headed. I drove back and forth from Tempe to North Scottsdale three circuits. It doesn't matter. Each trip had its purpose.

And I've forgiven, but by God, it better never happen again.

People have the amazing capacity to shock you, even when you're sure you know them as well as any human can know another. I honestly never thought I would see this day. Let it die and never come to pass again.

I love both of you guys more than I can ever express. It would rip me apart to lose either of you. It always gets the darkest before dawn, and, though it may not seem like it could ever happen right now, time does heal wounds. It's an uphill climb until that point, but it will happen if you keep fighting. I promise. But it won't if you lie down and die.

What a freaking innapropiate place for this, but meme. )
trenchkamen: (Default)
I'm partially in Vicky's debt for her finding me a love song from the point of view of an evil genius on a mountain. When I find my special victim someone that will be my story.

Thursday evening at the Goodwill. )

And, on other notes, I'm still out-of-it, and today was particularly bad. I've noticed myself using an unusually soft tone of voice and being unnecessarily vague to common questions. Mom thinks it's a lack of sleep. Whatever is she talking about.

Note to self: the #3 meal at McDonald's is a double Quarter Pounder, not the single.
trenchkamen: (Oh god.)
I guess this was precipitated by the conversations I had at Chelsea's party regarding college and everybody splitting up soon. That party was a wild time, by the way. The food and company were excellent, and I finally saw Dr. Strangelove, though I was half-falling asleep through the movie and missing key lines of dialogue. I spent most of the time talking to Ben, Michael, Chelsea, and Troy, which was pleasant.

Note to self: next time, remember to take a pair of freaking pants.

Dream sequence. )

I've got mucho work to do today. I don't know if I should take the SAT II for English or Chemistry, and I need to start applying for the essay scholarships. I've decided those are they way to go. I've got a hand for writing, and some of them are offering hefty prizes. Most of them are short, too: less than 500 words, on average. Economy of expression becomes crucial, but it also means less work, in a sense. I just have to say exactly what I want to say without a lot of foreplay and digression.

Victoly!

Aug. 31st, 2005 11:38 pm
trenchkamen: (Default)
"Beethoven's Ninth Symphony (Ode to Joy)" has been my best friend all afternoon, since I got home from school and sat down to do my final additions and drafts for the fiction contest. And, oh, it feels so good to have that finally done and submitted. The deadline is "before September 1", and I submitted at 8:45-ish PM Arizona Time, which is congruent with Pacific Time right now. I did not realize until I was looking at the address for the application fee that the moderator lives in... Maryland. On the East Coast. I hope to dear god she considers that most of the entries are coming from the West Coast area, or that for us, it was still four hours from September 1.

PLZ. Because if I'm defeated by forty-five minutes on the freaking East Coast, I'll maim a rabbit.

One of Rachel's friends overdosed on heroin and died this morning, which is pretty horrific. His mother found him and thought that he was just sleeping. I can't even imagine being in that position. He was not one of Rachel's close friends, but she hung out with him over the summer, and she saw him Sunday night. She's pretty upset. I wish there was something I could say or do to make her feel better. And, though I don't even know his family, I feel horrible for them too. Call it common human empathy.

Mom is back until Monday afternoon. She looks utterly exhausted, and she has so little energy anymore. I'm realizing that this may be my last year at home, as is she; when I mentioned that I will be legal in a month and a half, she told me never to mention it again.

I was planning on showing up to Men's Choir tomorrow morning per suggestion and seeing how long it would take Tutnick to realize that I am lacking some key prerequisites for joining, but I'm going to do it next week instead. I have a short-hair wig and some pretty boysy clothes that make short work of my figure, and the voice that makes people think I am my father over the phone, so this might actually fly for, like, five minutes. I'm just five-foot-four and have very fine, feminine features; that might be a problem. I have to actually start tonight's homework, and the past three nights I have not gotten much sleep. But soon, my brothers.

Calculus test results: t3h suck. And all on simple mistakes, too. RAGE.

I start homework now. But I'm still feeling the completed-story high.
trenchkamen: (Default)
What is it with blogger and spam lately? Whoever is responsible for this: I will hunt you down and kill your family. By strangling them with your intestines. And you'll be alive to watch.

This morning the government teacher, while trying to ask us what America would be like without an executive branch, asked "What would America be like without George W. Bush?" If I remember correctly my automatic response was a chorus of "Hallelujah", but I was really tired at the time.

The mail favored me today. My Phantom of the Opera photo book came in from ebay (so many original production photos; I touch myself), and Jasmine sent me a beautiful necklace with a Chinese character. I like the bar-clasp. Thank you so much! I feel completely spoiled.

Not much else to report. Supposedly the Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago wants me, according to Fastwebs, I need to get my college applications in by October, and I still have zilch idea where I am going to go beyond being in an urban area somewhere in the United States. Undergrad I'm not so worried about so long as I enjoy the town, and I want the whole experience to be affordable. I guess I could finally actually get that A+ certification I most certainly did not get a year ago when I said I would do it and sustain a worthy college income that way, if I don't go to ASU and actually move out of the house. Given how very little of my family I have seen since I moved out here, I fear that if I move out next year I will be shorting them and myself precious time. The problem is that beyond my family, the Valley will hold almost nothing of relevance to me, since most of my friends are going elsewhere for college. It would almost be more bearable to start anew somewhere else than to nurse a hollow feeling in a place where people no longer are, when they used to be.

I wish I didn't think so much sometimes.

I'd better get back to writing before the Black Abyss of the Internet pulls me in. I've got two days left.
trenchkamen: (Default)
Regarding the movie Red Eye, the viewing of which Whitney ([livejournal.com profile] jawzdharken) chronicled in her weblog: go see it right now. Cillian Murphy. Dear god, that man has no right to be so hot. That in conjunction with the sorts of characters as which he is typecast puts him on a Johnny Depp level. And Whitney sent me the Year One comic of Dr. Crane's past. If I get to choose my research paper topic this year, I think I will do it on the evolution of the evil genius archetype in literature and film.

This weekend was rather eventful, all things considered. I went to Mill Avenue with Jessica ([livejournal.com profile] shirogane07) and Christianne ([livejournal.com profile] chrissykitty) Friday night, which was not exactly what I had been expecting to happen when Christianne promised me dinner, but I got to eat at Fatburger for the first time, and the Graffiti Shop was playing the Depeche Mode: One Night in Paris concert. Rachel was so drunk she puked in my car, and Kaity ([livejournal.com profile] keiichisfuma) is my dark savior for sacrificing her Harkins cup for that event.

I was given what I originally thought was a cool government assignment, but soon figured out that it was not nearly as much fun as I thought it was going to be. We were supposed to walk around asking people to sign a petition to amend the Constitution with what is already, word-for-word, the Fifth Amendment, and catalogue their reactions. I wore my suit that day so I would look more official, which ended up being a super idea since it really did not help my cause when it came right down to it, and it was about 112*F. Kaity had to get some painting board at Home Depot, so while she was shopping for that I walked around the store getting rather boring reactions. Most people blew me off, one guy thought I was petitioning for leniency for terrorists, and that was about it. No yelling that I was a communist or anything. I feel cheated.

One of Kaity's boards ended up being far too big to fit into my trunk, so we had to lash it to the top of my car. The other board fit, but propped the lid open, so we had to use bungy-chords to hold the trunk closed. This was my first time driving with anything lashed to my car/sticking out of my trunk, but we got the items to Kaity's house intact.

Today I transferred a computer to Dad's office and set up what I could, but since he has some sort of a vague "data problem" on the old computer and no printer software, I have to finish the job later this week. I did all of my homework save for the write-up on the government project, which I am doing at this moment. Rachel wants a ride to go swimming somewhere, and I think in the span from Friday to Saturday I used almost a full tank of gas, which, given the Nissan's fuel economy and the price of gas, is remarkable.

The thing I did not do this weekend was scholarships. I tried to visit the college center after school on Friday, but it was already closed. I guess I have to make an appointment during class, or something.

The writing entry is due on Wednesday, and I have not even registered for the convention yet. I've come to far with that entry not to make the deadline.
trenchkamen: (Default)
What the HELL was with all of that spam on the last post? If I find whomever(s) is(are) responsible... I'll probably walk away like the doormat I am.

The last two days have been rather busy. I've been reading diligently on Gulliver's Travels, which I am quite enjoying but need more time on, and doing other odds and ends homework. I have quite a bit of stuff due tomorrow, so I am trying to cram that together.

And it looks like I'm going to have to pull some of my Jedi mind powers so that Annie can go to the con, because if she doesn't, it just won't be Yaoi-Explosion part whatever-we're-on. And I just won't be able to live with that.

Today it was miserably hot, and tomorrow is supposed to be even worse. 108*F is not the hottest it gets in Phoenix, but since it is monsoon season, it is all that more unbearable. Today was also the day I got two more textbooks, and I was late to school, so I had to carry every single binder and textbook along with my guitar until I got my locker combination at lunch. That guitar case is heavy; it's this super-industrial rockcase since the guitar I am borrowing is worth more than my life. But I didn't drop anything once.

I've also come to the realization that just because I've switched Spanish teachers does not mean that my class will not be treated like the kindergarten class. Is this universal to all non-honors high school academic classes, or did I just strike out again?

Today during guitar I figured out how to play "Ode to Joy" and the chromatic regression from "Phantom of the Opera", much to my own amusement.

I like the feel of tying up loose ends. It's liberating. After I finish Gulliver's Travels and my government assignment, I will breathe easily again. Aaah, school.

I've also got to start on scholarships, like, TOMORROW.
trenchkamen: (Default)
There is an "I Love Aaron Wester Club" at Saguaro.

I kid you not. We got our agenda books today, and that is listed as one of the official clubs. Somebody pointed it out today during calc, and it cracked me up. Is this some kind of a sick joke, or is there actually a club dedicated to Wester? And how the hell did that pass as an official club? For those of you who do not know, Aaron graduated last year, he was an alto sax and a thespian, and in a nutshell, he's incredibly attractive and metrosexual and had a scary fan/stalker-following. Christianne, who doesn't even attend Saguaro, stole one of his pictures off of a wall in the band room, and to this day has it on her door. This was in our freshman year, mind.

I'm obligated to go to the first meeting. I just have to see if this is serious or not. If I see any shrines with pictures and candles, I'm running. After I take pictures and laugh hysterically for a good period of time. And I want to see which teacher would be willing to sponsor. Any bets?

I've also come to the conclusion that my English teacher is pretty awesome, and that we're going to get along just fine this year. I have undying respect for any man who makes his honors class draw pictures of flowers with crayons.

I did all of my school shopping this afternoon. Ended up going to three stores for the oddities like the stopwatch, a Spanish book, and mouthwash, but at least it's done. I need to call the orthodontist about replacing my retainer, which has been AWOL for longer than it needs to be, and talk to my parents about the senior pictures when they get back--supposedly this evening. I'm still hoping for that good news from Mom. Last I checked, they still had no reply. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I can tune and play three notes on my guitar now. And I've got quite a bit of work to do. Later.
trenchkamen: (Default)
All things considered, today went fairly smoothly. It honestly felt as though I had never left. That's the problem, though.

Begin bitching.

Last year sucked. Academics, personal life, everything sucked. I'm determined never to have a year like my junior year if anything whatsoever is within my control, and thus far, I'm not so sure if this is going to be as relaxing a year as I was hoping it would be. I worked my ass off in multiple areas last year, and while some areas have gotten worse, others have gotten better; I've always been willing to work this year, but...

Well, maybe I'm just saying this because I couldn't transfer to Humanities due to a schedule conflict, and now I'm in IV AP without having done the summer reading, all of which (along with a reading log) is due on Friday, and I'm kind of burned about that. Or maybe I'm PMSing.

It's not so much the work this week--I can handle a heavy workload easily, and I'm a fast reader and, if it comes right down to it, good at bullshit--as the prospect of maybe, maybe having another year like last year, which is something I dearly wanted to leave behind. And IV AP is going to be a prime suspect in causing that.

I also know I'm so burned about this reading assignment because the writing contest deadline is August 31, and I'm determined to place. I'm almost done, but I have to work out the ending somehow.

Now that I have that off my chest, I feel somewhat better.

Other than that, the first day back was great. I saw the Nerd Herd, whom I have missed dearly, and went out for lunch after school with the chica faction of the nerds. I'm glad to be back where I see everybody every day. I didn't see my Saguaro friends nearly enough over the summer, barring Eurotrip. My ID picture resembles a squirrel, and supposedly tomorrow we get to start actually using guitars in class. The parking permits keep getting smaller and smaller, I know I have some good teacher recommendations guaranteed when the need arises, and, oh yeah, I'm a senior. It doesn't feel right yet, but there is that scary concept.

I need to get back to reading. I've paced myself a fourth of the book a night, regardless of anything short of a death in the family or hospitalization, else I'll find myself completely swamped. I guess I could completely bullshit the SparkNotes, but I'm quite enjoying this book so far.
trenchkamen: (Default)
What it says.

First entry: regarding my family's recent trip to Rancho Mirage (Palm Springs), California, for what could liberally be called "family therapy". If you know me, you know why we went and what exactly I mean by that. It was a sucktastic last-week-of-summer, but I made myself have some good times.

So I finally uploaded my California pictures, such as they are. And it's my last day of summer. I do not want to go back to school. I'll have to face the reality of not having worked on scholarships or college applications yet.

And, oh, yeah, I saw Fight Club last night, and I much liked it.

Thus begins our photo tour of Trench's trip to Rancho Mirage, California. Subaru and Folken went with me, originally to be photo-fodder all over the city, but I got pretty damn lazy once we got to California, and cameras were not allowed in the center anyway. You all know you want to look.

Vacation photographs )

I've got nine days to finish my story entry. I should not be wasting time on formatting images. Fork.

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