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Today at lunch I was waiting in the sammich line, reading Gulliver's Travels and minding my own business, when the pre-pubescent boy in front of me started this conversation:
Boy 1: Hey, nice star. Are you Jewish? Oh, wait, that's not the Star of David thing; it's the Satanic symbol.
Lauren: Nope.
Boy 1: Are you Satanic?
Lauren: No. Are you a freshman?
Boy 1: Yeah. How'd you know?
There is a silence.
Boy 1: Are you a witch?
I said I was not a witch, and gave my usual two-sentence response about how the pentacle has been used as a symbol of balance for centuries before Wicca. It didn't do much.
Boy 1: Hey, can you do magic?
Lauren: Yes. I can shoot laser beams out of my eyes.
Boy 1: (holding up a pen) Can you take this from me magically?
The boy's friend turned around and snatched the pen from him, and then they started arguing about something that degenerating into them calling each other gay. The absolute best line to come out of this was:
Boy 1: You fucking faggot! Why don't you go fuck some men, you democrat!
Boy 2: Hey, shut up. Her (nodding at me) voice is deeper than yours is!
This made me happy.
Boy 2: Hey, I was thinking of getting a shirt that says "Vote for John Kerry. Sponsored by Al Qaeda".
They talk some more, etc. I try to read and pretend I'm not listening so they will continue.
Boy 2: (fake-whispering to me behind his hand) He's gay.
Boy 1: Hey, can you shoot lightning out of your hands like Darth Vader?
Lauren: Yes.
Boy 1: (noting my book) Hey, do the midgets in that have huge dicks?
Lauren: What?
Boy 1: The midgets. Do they have huge dicks?
Lauren: They're proportionate, I think.
Boy 1: WHAT?
Lauren: They're proportionate.
At this point, they lost interest in me in the general turmoil of the lunch line, and we soon reached the counter anyway.
Note: is anybody else annoyed beyond all reason by the term "frosh"? Something about calling freshmen "frosh" makes me want to kick the crap out of the student council. Just like all of the signs in the hallways last week saying things like "Saguaro is FUN!" and "Frosh!" and "Sophomores!"
I can't wait until high school is over.
Anarchy continues to reign in the New Orleans and Mississippi area. Prather mentioned some particularly sickening stories in the Arizona Republic regarding rape and murder. It sickens me. The hurricane's destruction is bad enough, but to take advantage of the anarchy in such a horrific manner... We can only do all we can, send aid, help refugees, and hope things are straightened out soon. I hope this disaster leads to tighter urban regulations in low-level seaboard areas. I never want this disaster to repeat itself if at all possible.
Boy 1: Hey, nice star. Are you Jewish? Oh, wait, that's not the Star of David thing; it's the Satanic symbol.
Lauren: Nope.
Boy 1: Are you Satanic?
Lauren: No. Are you a freshman?
Boy 1: Yeah. How'd you know?
There is a silence.
Boy 1: Are you a witch?
I said I was not a witch, and gave my usual two-sentence response about how the pentacle has been used as a symbol of balance for centuries before Wicca. It didn't do much.
Boy 1: Hey, can you do magic?
Lauren: Yes. I can shoot laser beams out of my eyes.
Boy 1: (holding up a pen) Can you take this from me magically?
The boy's friend turned around and snatched the pen from him, and then they started arguing about something that degenerating into them calling each other gay. The absolute best line to come out of this was:
Boy 1: You fucking faggot! Why don't you go fuck some men, you democrat!
Boy 2: Hey, shut up. Her (nodding at me) voice is deeper than yours is!
This made me happy.
Boy 2: Hey, I was thinking of getting a shirt that says "Vote for John Kerry. Sponsored by Al Qaeda".
They talk some more, etc. I try to read and pretend I'm not listening so they will continue.
Boy 2: (fake-whispering to me behind his hand) He's gay.
Boy 1: Hey, can you shoot lightning out of your hands like Darth Vader?
Lauren: Yes.
Boy 1: (noting my book) Hey, do the midgets in that have huge dicks?
Lauren: What?
Boy 1: The midgets. Do they have huge dicks?
Lauren: They're proportionate, I think.
Boy 1: WHAT?
Lauren: They're proportionate.
At this point, they lost interest in me in the general turmoil of the lunch line, and we soon reached the counter anyway.
Note: is anybody else annoyed beyond all reason by the term "frosh"? Something about calling freshmen "frosh" makes me want to kick the crap out of the student council. Just like all of the signs in the hallways last week saying things like "Saguaro is FUN!" and "Frosh!" and "Sophomores!"
I can't wait until high school is over.
Anarchy continues to reign in the New Orleans and Mississippi area. Prather mentioned some particularly sickening stories in the Arizona Republic regarding rape and murder. It sickens me. The hurricane's destruction is bad enough, but to take advantage of the anarchy in such a horrific manner... We can only do all we can, send aid, help refugees, and hope things are straightened out soon. I hope this disaster leads to tighter urban regulations in low-level seaboard areas. I never want this disaster to repeat itself if at all possible.
