trenchkamen: (Sherlock - Not my division)
[personal profile] trenchkamen

I was reminded of this game by this delightful post.

There are two ways to do it: name-specific, and "OC".

I'll start with my name. Here's how you do it.

-------------

Step 1: Pick a fandom. The larger and wankier, the better.

Step 2: Go to fanfiction.net and choose your fandom.

Step 3: Search within that category using your first name OR "OC" OR "original character".

Step 4: Post the results!

-------------------------

Care to guess which fandom we're going to do first?

You probably guessed correctly.

that's a lot of fic

Go up to the "search" option, then click on "advanced". Narrow down to your fandom of choice.

Here we go!

Let's see what adventures await me in Sherlock's pants world...

...aw fuck

...lame. One story written FOR somebody named "Lauren", and a Criminal Minds crossover. Maybe you guys will have better luck with your names. The Pit of Voles is failing me.

When I did Harry Potter,  I got so many amazing results I almost pissed myself laughing. I'll have to redo that one next.

But fear not, for we have other options available to us. Let's try "OC" as a search string.

Awwww yeah. Now we're ready to rock. Let's filter out to "Rating: M" and check out some of the self-insert smut we have on tap today.

Alone, ignored, AND forgotten. Some things are so bad you need three degrees of separation from them. I get a feeling this story is one of those things.

ALL of Sherlock's problems. ALL of them. We're going to see Cos here is an expert and finding just who is the answer to a lot of people's problems.

L o s t.in.the.Underworld here knows the power of pithy dialogue. This sharp repartee is all we need to establish the mood, tone, nay, even the PLOT of this 975 word gem.  Expect this exchange to appear on image macros everywhere.

Clearly Sam didn't meet Sherlock at Oxford. I thought they were all about knowing how to use punctuation there. Especially commas.

When I am king of the world the term "sparks fly" will be banned.

Miss Sewall here is clearly a kindred spirit with one Sherlock Holmes. The banal life just isn't good enough for this tough, spirited go-getter.

Cos is back again with another hard-hitting story about the power of love. Our everywoman heroine teaches us all that, with a little spunk, insight, and understanding, love can transform a monster into a tender, gentle lover. This is Beauty and the Beast for a new era. Stay after the credits for a special duet.

Here we see a tender, human side to Sherlock Holmes. Love can melt the frostiest of hearts and breach the toughest defenses. Our OC will tenderly lead Sherlock through the dance of love, teaching him that there's so much more to life than his genius brain ever comprehended. An existential awakening on par with the finest Hermann Hesse.

Sparks will fly.

Eat her inside out. Get it. GET IT?

Darkfangz13 shakes things up a little here with some diversity--an ASIAN GIRL. Not just any Asian girl, mind, but a strange one, and vacationing, to boot.

What DOES happen when temptations are put into the equation? Wait, what equation are we talking about? We just know he met one Ivy Coates. There's no conflict of contradictory clause to justify the "but".

Sherlock is going to learn that, while love can hurt us, and make us vulnerable, opening yourself to love is, indeed, very much worth it. A touching tale of courage, persistence, and how to unlock a frozen heart.

Charlotte Myer was just a normal girl before she got involved with Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. The Baker Street boys just can't imagine their lives without her, now. The flat is a little chillier, life a little blander, without her radiant smile and spunky can-do attitude. She's going to find that tracking down serial killers is a piece of cake compared to her greatest challenge yet: melting the heart of one Sherlock Holmes!

Sparks will--fuck.

A little OOC? Ah, don't be so hard on yourself, now.

Sherlock, easily bored, is shocked to learn that a spunky, fierce woman can be more interesting a puzzle than any case he can imagine. This genius can solve any puzzle, but can he solve the puzzle of... his own heart? He will learn that love is wondrous enough a puzzle to keep him occupied.

But, hey, since you say you suck at summaries, I could be wrong. I'll just have to... read it.

There are MORE Sherlock/Rebecca fics?

Sebastina Moran lives a charmed life. Beloved of Jack Harkness, mother of The Doctor's child, she who will thaw the heart of Jim Moriarty. She captures the heart of every man she meets.

Loathing and loving are harder to tell apart than... what? Hearts are found? Is this before or after they've been burned out?

Maybe as smart as he is? Has Sherlock Holmes met his intellectual match? These star-crossed lovers, these kindred spirits, overcome a turbulent past and misunderstanding to ignite a love affair the likes of which the world has never seen. Sparks will--

--------------------------------

Though these fics aren't rated M, I came across the summaries before I turned on the filter, and... uh.

Every goddamn fandom, ever, must have a fic called "My Immortal". And it will be an Evanescence songfic. I'm glad to see somebody shouldered the burden.

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