![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Zero hour grows closer
Oct. 18th, 2005 09:57 pmI have two words for you right now: Valium. As in, the dentist prescribes it to all of her patients per standard procedure. This is good; I originally thought Dad had dropped the hint that I am an extraordinary coward. But he didn't, and I'm on 10 mg of the stuff right now. Originally I was like: "Aw, that's cute, Mom and Dad think I'm going to sleep tonight." But they made me take it. Supposedly it was, like, $2.50 down at the pharmacy for 5 pills. That's not bad at all.
Honestly, I don't feel any different, but I'm very relaxed, I keep making typos, I failed Mom's 'field sobriety' test, and I almost twisted my ankle playing freaking "Love Shine" on DDR. And everything is funny.
I spent my birthday gift card at Best Buy purchasing "Playing the Angel" and "Batman Begins", so I'll have something to look forward to watching when I get home.
And I've come up with this team of crack doctors to take care of my very difficult deadly procedure that isn't going to, like, take an hour and a half tops or anything, and that counts waiting to go under.
( I'll imagine this tomorrow and it will be all better. )
So, yes, the next time I post, it will all be over. I've been telling myself the things I used to tell myself back in fifth grade when I had to go to the dentist, back when I adhered to the Redwall Warriors' Code religiously. It's kind of like the 'fear is the mind-killer' chant from Dune. It all comes back to the concept that courage is doing things even when you're afraid. Corny, but it's helping me along right now, given that I have an utterly neurotic and all-encompassing fear of medical procedures, needles especially. The IV is what is scaring me the most. Not the post-operative soreness--whatever, I can take that--but five seconds of a pinch with an IV is what is scaring me.
But at the moment, I'm not nervous, and I want to play DDR, even if I kill myself. And I'll look back on all this and say "Wow, I was a pussy."
Honestly, I don't feel any different, but I'm very relaxed, I keep making typos, I failed Mom's 'field sobriety' test, and I almost twisted my ankle playing freaking "Love Shine" on DDR. And everything is funny.
I spent my birthday gift card at Best Buy purchasing "Playing the Angel" and "Batman Begins", so I'll have something to look forward to watching when I get home.
And I've come up with this team of crack doctors to take care of my very difficult deadly procedure that isn't going to, like, take an hour and a half tops or anything, and that counts waiting to go under.
( I'll imagine this tomorrow and it will be all better. )
So, yes, the next time I post, it will all be over. I've been telling myself the things I used to tell myself back in fifth grade when I had to go to the dentist, back when I adhered to the Redwall Warriors' Code religiously. It's kind of like the 'fear is the mind-killer' chant from Dune. It all comes back to the concept that courage is doing things even when you're afraid. Corny, but it's helping me along right now, given that I have an utterly neurotic and all-encompassing fear of medical procedures, needles especially. The IV is what is scaring me the most. Not the post-operative soreness--whatever, I can take that--but five seconds of a pinch with an IV is what is scaring me.
But at the moment, I'm not nervous, and I want to play DDR, even if I kill myself. And I'll look back on all this and say "Wow, I was a pussy."
