The Sandman knows everything
Sep. 5th, 2005 10:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trenchkamenI guess this was precipitated by the conversations I had at Chelsea's party regarding college and everybody splitting up soon. That party was a wild time, by the way. The food and company were excellent, and I finally saw Dr. Strangelove, though I was half-falling asleep through the movie and missing key lines of dialogue. I spent most of the time talking to Ben, Michael, Chelsea, and Troy, which was pleasant.
Note to self: next time, remember to take a pair of freaking pants.
In any case, in my dream, the family was driving through a relatively small town in California situated on a mountainside. I quite honestly forgot why we were there, but I remember that at that time Jack in the Box was giving away happy meals with minute collectable figures, such as a Republican Pig, a field of grass for the pig, Subaru and Seishirou, a sundial, etc, all with tiny pegs at the base so you could put them in a collectable plastic stand. There were some girls I had the vague impression I knew from a convention telling me where an amazing Chinese store was, etc. It was going great so far.
Then my parents decided that we were going to move there. Tomorrow.
I honestly forgot why this was. I vaguely remember it being something regarding another job opportunity for Dad, barring all of the logical tangles as to why we cannot move right now in the Real World, even if we wanted to. Most of my vague, frantic thoughts at that point made little sense in context. I had to get the Gulliver project to Pat before Tuesday, so it would not impact his and my grade, etc. I remember running around the roads toward the top of the mountain, frantically trying to straighten my head out and make myself wake up. For some God-knows-why reason Kaity was coming out to visit me in that town, even though I was just on vacation there for maybe a week, as far as she knew at that point. We ended up in 'my' room, which had somehow been already moved to that town into a much smaller space with tacky-ass baby-blue walls and no computer, and somebody had arranged my posters entirely on one wall. I remember walking into the room I was trying to reconcile whether or not this was a sick dream, but since I saw my mother packing away our silverware, I asked Dad when we were moving, to which he replied "tomorrow".
At this point, obviously, we were suspended somewhere between Paradise Valley and Wherever, California.
Kaity was laying on my bed with her back to me while I was explaining what the hell was happening. She was too shocked to be upset, I think, but it was difficult to tell what exactly she was feeling since her back was to me. My mother opened my door and half-started to ask if I was packing, saw Kaity, and got very quiet. My mother looked dead-tired and sad, which usually cuts any irritation I could be feeling at any given point, but that did not work, this time.
I lost it.
If you know me, you know I seldom raise my voice, even when I'm completely pissed off. I was roaring at my mother. She had promised, she had promised it would be the last time we moved, "You promised! You promised!", etc. Kaity got scared and ran out of the room sobbing, which made me realize how ridiculous I was being, so I shut up so I could hear what she was saying to my father above my mother's quiet sobs. I think she told my father that I was a maniac and ran out of the house.
I honestly don't remember if we met up again because I had caught her, or because a great deal of time had elapsed and that portion of the dream had been erased, so to speak. I honestly do not remember what passed between us at that point. I remember thinking clearly about leaving Arizona and everything I have here. There is a vast difference between leaving for college, which is pre-meditated and a time when everybody is going to be splitting up anyway, and being ripped away before that time has to come.
I care about my friends far more than I let on sometimes. They mean everything to me, and I realize that if this truly did happen to me, given my packrat-like tendencies to cling on to old situations and people obsessively, I would be a recluse with a computer for a best friend, saving up all of my time to talk to people online. It has taken me a long time to accumulate the life that I have here, and I feel blessed to have things the way they are. It would be devastating not to be able just to call somebody up and show up at his or her house to go do something, or even just to talk. I wouldn't be able to eat dinner at Kaity's house and talk to her for hours, or go to Michael's house after school to hang out in his basement with the Nerd Herd, or go do insane things on weekends with TAB, or get my shoulder nearly dislocated by Annie while she's singing in the car/in a movie/making a point, or see Cillian Murphy movies with Whitney, or any of that. Vicky and Jasmine live in LA, and we were nowhere near LA, so they would be no physically closer to me than they are now.
Anyway. I woke up and was simultaneously very depressed and very relieved.
I've got mucho work to do today. I don't know if I should take the SAT II for English or Chemistry, and I need to start applying for the essay scholarships. I've decided those are they way to go. I've got a hand for writing, and some of them are offering hefty prizes. Most of them are short, too: less than 500 words, on average. Economy of expression becomes crucial, but it also means less work, in a sense. I just have to say exactly what I want to say without a lot of foreplay and digression.
Note to self: next time, remember to take a pair of freaking pants.
In any case, in my dream, the family was driving through a relatively small town in California situated on a mountainside. I quite honestly forgot why we were there, but I remember that at that time Jack in the Box was giving away happy meals with minute collectable figures, such as a Republican Pig, a field of grass for the pig, Subaru and Seishirou, a sundial, etc, all with tiny pegs at the base so you could put them in a collectable plastic stand. There were some girls I had the vague impression I knew from a convention telling me where an amazing Chinese store was, etc. It was going great so far.
Then my parents decided that we were going to move there. Tomorrow.
I honestly forgot why this was. I vaguely remember it being something regarding another job opportunity for Dad, barring all of the logical tangles as to why we cannot move right now in the Real World, even if we wanted to. Most of my vague, frantic thoughts at that point made little sense in context. I had to get the Gulliver project to Pat before Tuesday, so it would not impact his and my grade, etc. I remember running around the roads toward the top of the mountain, frantically trying to straighten my head out and make myself wake up. For some God-knows-why reason Kaity was coming out to visit me in that town, even though I was just on vacation there for maybe a week, as far as she knew at that point. We ended up in 'my' room, which had somehow been already moved to that town into a much smaller space with tacky-ass baby-blue walls and no computer, and somebody had arranged my posters entirely on one wall. I remember walking into the room I was trying to reconcile whether or not this was a sick dream, but since I saw my mother packing away our silverware, I asked Dad when we were moving, to which he replied "tomorrow".
At this point, obviously, we were suspended somewhere between Paradise Valley and Wherever, California.
Kaity was laying on my bed with her back to me while I was explaining what the hell was happening. She was too shocked to be upset, I think, but it was difficult to tell what exactly she was feeling since her back was to me. My mother opened my door and half-started to ask if I was packing, saw Kaity, and got very quiet. My mother looked dead-tired and sad, which usually cuts any irritation I could be feeling at any given point, but that did not work, this time.
I lost it.
If you know me, you know I seldom raise my voice, even when I'm completely pissed off. I was roaring at my mother. She had promised, she had promised it would be the last time we moved, "You promised! You promised!", etc. Kaity got scared and ran out of the room sobbing, which made me realize how ridiculous I was being, so I shut up so I could hear what she was saying to my father above my mother's quiet sobs. I think she told my father that I was a maniac and ran out of the house.
I honestly don't remember if we met up again because I had caught her, or because a great deal of time had elapsed and that portion of the dream had been erased, so to speak. I honestly do not remember what passed between us at that point. I remember thinking clearly about leaving Arizona and everything I have here. There is a vast difference between leaving for college, which is pre-meditated and a time when everybody is going to be splitting up anyway, and being ripped away before that time has to come.
I care about my friends far more than I let on sometimes. They mean everything to me, and I realize that if this truly did happen to me, given my packrat-like tendencies to cling on to old situations and people obsessively, I would be a recluse with a computer for a best friend, saving up all of my time to talk to people online. It has taken me a long time to accumulate the life that I have here, and I feel blessed to have things the way they are. It would be devastating not to be able just to call somebody up and show up at his or her house to go do something, or even just to talk. I wouldn't be able to eat dinner at Kaity's house and talk to her for hours, or go to Michael's house after school to hang out in his basement with the Nerd Herd, or go do insane things on weekends with TAB, or get my shoulder nearly dislocated by Annie while she's singing in the car/in a movie/making a point, or see Cillian Murphy movies with Whitney, or any of that. Vicky and Jasmine live in LA, and we were nowhere near LA, so they would be no physically closer to me than they are now.
Anyway. I woke up and was simultaneously very depressed and very relieved.
I've got mucho work to do today. I don't know if I should take the SAT II for English or Chemistry, and I need to start applying for the essay scholarships. I've decided those are they way to go. I've got a hand for writing, and some of them are offering hefty prizes. Most of them are short, too: less than 500 words, on average. Economy of expression becomes crucial, but it also means less work, in a sense. I just have to say exactly what I want to say without a lot of foreplay and digression.
