My fandom is writhing in agony

[trenchkamen]

To: Batman Begins fandom, Crane!Sluts in particular
CC: Yaoi fandom in general, take note please
Subject: Death threat

If I ever again find a story where Jonathan Crane and/or Bruce Wayne begs for it, namely, in the manner of "OH PLEASE OH PLEASE FUCK ME NOW" etc, I will find out where you sleep and crush your forehead clear through your skull. Much damage won't be done to the contents inside, such as they are, but you'll bleed out all over your pillow.

This is especially if they met five minutes ago and already ended up in Brucy's bedroom / a cell in Arkham / a back alley, whatever, without explaining why the hell they want to fuck in the first place.

You have been warned. Cut the crap.

Comments

[white-manjushri.livejournal.com]

"I will find out where you sleep and crush your forehead clear through your skull. Much damage won't be done to the contents inside, such as they are, but you'll bleed out all over your pillow."

Not if I get there first.

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

When the blood's in the water, we can fight over who gets the first kill.

[gogglebeast.livejournal.com]

...Hence why Whitney doesn't read most fanfiction. ESPECIALLY if she loves the characters. D:

That's so scary. I'm sorry, Lauren. I'm sorry. XD;

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

It's my damn fault for clicking on the link. It's like watching a wreck--you have to look. Reminds me ficbitch_anon has been dead for a while...

Yeah, this is why I don't read much fanfiction, either. I have this bias for good writing.

[zychi.livejournal.com]

::sighs::
nobody appreciates my literary genius
::burns his fan fic::

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. I forgot. I can't question.

[xcerebraledemax.livejournal.com]

Why are you reading fanfic like that in the first place.

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

I stumbled across it on one of the Professor Crane communities, and my morbid curiosity got the best of me.

Professor Crane fandom: fanart is good, fanfiction is mostly suck.

[zychi.livejournal.com]

you should write a batman fanfic

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

I've considered it.

[gogglebeast.livejournal.com]

In which Crane has a torrid love affair with some freshly made guacamole and my mom's fajitas.

...What? I'm not inserting my personal life into a fic idea. Not at all. >>

...DO IT

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

I WANT FAJITAS AND GUACAMOLE RIGHT NOW.

[gogglebeast.livejournal.com]

COME TO WHITNEY'S HAUS, SHE HAS FAJITAS FOR j00~

....well, assuming you could get here before I eat them all. OM NOM NOM. 83

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

I have to work? Otherwise I'd drive over there right freaking now.

[gogglebeast.livejournal.com]

Aww. Yeah. Good luck on your work!

You should seriously come over sometime when we make fajitas, though. BUT... you know they're only chicken, right?

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

You offend my Texan sensibilities. Chicken fajitas.

[gogglebeast.livejournal.com]

Ch. Beggars can't be choosers. And it's damn good chicken, I'll have you know.

[zychi.livejournal.com]

serious fanfics never seem to do it justice for me, especially cuz this stuff arises 3/4 of the time. I usually just like parodies and stuff like that if I get it from the internet. Hey, if you all want to read some good internet literature, go here.

[akuma-no-mi.livejournal.com]

o_o

Oh my fucking goodness.

My childhood has been yaoified.

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

It's Cillian Murphy and Christian Bale; what did you think would happen?

[gogglebeast.livejournal.com]

See, I dunno why. But if I was writing Crane fic?

...It wouldn't be Batman getting some. *COUGH* XD