Zero hour grows closer

[trenchkamen]

I have two words for you right now: Valium. As in, the dentist prescribes it to all of her patients per standard procedure. This is good; I originally thought Dad had dropped the hint that I am an extraordinary coward. But he didn't, and I'm on 10 mg of the stuff right now. Originally I was like: "Aw, that's cute, Mom and Dad think I'm going to sleep tonight." But they made me take it. Supposedly it was, like, $2.50 down at the pharmacy for 5 pills. That's not bad at all.

Honestly, I don't feel any different, but I'm very relaxed, I keep making typos, I failed Mom's 'field sobriety' test, and I almost twisted my ankle playing freaking "Love Shine" on DDR. And everything is funny.

I spent my birthday gift card at Best Buy purchasing "Playing the Angel" and "Batman Begins", so I'll have something to look forward to watching when I get home.

And I've come up with this team of crack doctors to take care of my very difficult deadly procedure that isn't going to, like, take an hour and a half tops or anything, and that counts waiting to go under.



Head Surgeon -- Dr. Millerna Aston Because somebody has to keep the boys in line, and I would trust her. She's a smart and highly capable physician. She freaking saved Allen's life when she was still in medical school and she only had the limited facilities of a merchant ship available to her. Out of all of my selections she's also the only surgeon who works on humans, so she gets to be the leader by default. She's also hot. I definitely see what Dryden sees in her. Gaddes makes a good assistant.


Assistant Surgeon -- Dr. Jonathan Crane He's a psychiatrist, but he had to go through medical school. He's a smart guy, and though he's not nearly as gentle as Dr. Aston, he's capable enough. He's not allowed anywhere near the drugs / anesthesia, though. The last thing I need is him deciding I'm a prone guinea pig. He's also eye candy and I can stare at him while I get the IV put into my arm, which is what I am most worried about. Irrational phobia, yes.


Anesthesiologist -- Dr. Sakurazuka Seishirou He's a veterinarian, yes, and I have no idea why I am trusting an illusion master to prepare the meds that are going to put me under, but I don't think he'd pull anything on anybody he's not out to kill. Given my obsession fandom I'd be comfortable with him, and when he's in GoodVet!Mode he's funny as hell, and he's also eye candy. He's welcome to stick anything an IV in my hand if he so chooses. I want Hokuto to be his assistant!


I've run out of positions, but he's there -- Dr. Hojo He's the furthest out of the medical park, but I like him, and he wears a lab coat. I'd trust Millerna to keep him from using me as a Mako!Bunny, or whatever exactly it is he did with Cloud and Sephiroth and Vincent. Or something. I... wow, I need to finish that game. I'd make him crack some jokes.


So, yes, the next time I post, it will all be over. I've been telling myself the things I used to tell myself back in fifth grade when I had to go to the dentist, back when I adhered to the Redwall Warriors' Code religiously. It's kind of like the 'fear is the mind-killer' chant from Dune. It all comes back to the concept that courage is doing things even when you're afraid. Corny, but it's helping me along right now, given that I have an utterly neurotic and all-encompassing fear of medical procedures, needles especially. The IV is what is scaring me the most. Not the post-operative soreness--whatever, I can take that--but five seconds of a pinch with an IV is what is scaring me.

But at the moment, I'm not nervous, and I want to play DDR, even if I kill myself. And I'll look back on all this and say "Wow, I was a pussy."

Comments

[trenchkamen.livejournal.com]

It is frightening how much you look like your father.