trenchkamen: (Wow.)
[personal profile] trenchkamen
It's not?

God, the comments themselves are a study. These are some choice bits from the Facebook feed linked in from this joint.

This seems to be the dominant thesis: any risk is absolutely unacceptable, any whatsoever, and if your kids get hurt or the rare and unimaginable happens, it is YOUR FAULT for allowing them any freedom at all. Also, hysteria, moral panic, and gross, GROSS overestimation of risk.

Remember that these comments are in response to letting a ten-year-old, who has taken a bike safety class, by the way (did those exist prior to our generation?), to ride a mile home from school through a residential area. In an era when violent crime is lower than it has been since the 70's and 80's (era of the latchkey kids). That sounds like excellent daily exercise to me, but to some people, it's child endangerment.

For what it's worth, quoted commenters: you're all idiots, and if you don't like it, come at me. And while you're at it, learn to math and common sense.


This is horrible! If I had kids I certainly wouldn't let them ride a bike to school, no matter how close or far the school was. There have been so many children kidnapped in their own front yards!* This mother is ridiculous to hyave your 10 year old daughter ride her bike to school! Does the mother not have time to drive her daughter that one mile to the school and make sure she gets there safe? What a shameful society we live in today. (You're right. What a shameful society we live in today.)

"Well, all I have to say is when this poor 10 year old girl is kidnapped, raped, tortured and murdered because she was allowed to ride her bike on a busy road, then tell me what she's doing is not dangerous. Where have ya'll been? Things have changed. It's dangerous for any child to do anything by their self these days.*" (by the way, not sarcastic. I checked this poster's tone further down the page)

If this little girl gets abducted or hit and killed by a car on that street while riding her bike, her mom and all of the idiots commenting on this story will be the first to blame everyone from the police, the cars on the road, the road and even the community for the death of her chilld. It's a parent's responsibility to protect their child period. If it's so safe, then ride with your child. Walk her to school or drop her off. What kind of morons are you people. (Maybe morons with jobs. Or morons who believe their children are capable people.)

People that think things that don't happen to them are the ones that things happen to. There is drunk drivers, people texting while driving, people on drugs, pedophiles and kidnappers that every worried parent should look out for. (I agree texting while driving is fucking terrifying. Pedophiles and kidnappers everywhere? I seriously doubt. Texting while driving is statistically manifold times greater a public threat.)

*[citation needed]


I love the furious backpedaling that results when people cite reliable sources of crime rates in the past 50 years. Basically, the response becomes that no risk, NONE, is acceptable, and if you accept even the smallest risk for your child, you are a horrid parent, and you don't care. What is that phenomenon called where people are horrid at understanding very small fractions and probabilities on the order of one in a million? And where the number of times an instance is talked about, a person thinks it's more likely?

And why are all these people saying it's not safe anymore? Crime is LOWER than it has been in decades. All reliable statistics corroborate this. All things considered, we live at the safest time in human history. Yes, that is taking into account all the dangers that face us. Life is dangerous. It always has been. There's just more constant sensationalist, borderline pornographic fixation on the rare horrors of life on TV. We're paralyzing a nation in fear. Parents admitting they won't let their kids play in the yard because look at all the rapists and kidnappers on TV? That's their proof? This is like a parody.

I do concede that car congestion, car size, and average speed have increased, which serves as a danger. But why is everybody talking about kidnapping and pedophiles?

This is why we are raising a generation of neurotic, helpless, soft kids. I am in the first half of this coddled 'generation me' or whatever the hell we're calling it now, but I escaped that fate. I was a 90's kid, for reference, in 6th grade when 2000 rolled around. I rode my bike all over our various rural neighborhoods. Hell, as young as 1st or 2nd grade I was given free reign in our neighborhood. I'd walk what seemed quite far to my short legs, down steep hills and canyons, to creeks, given some common sense about local critters and traffic safety. And this was before kids had cell phones. AND, I kept to myself a great deal of the time, so I didn't even have much strength in numbers. But this was considered normal. The positive effect on my self esteem, industriousness, courage, cannot be overstated. Hell, I was a belligerently neurotic kid, a real frady cat by that day's standards. I was afraid I would catch every disease I ever heard of (and I read a LOT, so I heard of quite a few) and even went through a phase where I was convinced every single passing car housed a drive-by shooter. But I kept going out and about, just myself, and usually a book, often with my little sister, against the huge and scary world. It made me into a better person.

I can't imagine how bad I'd still be if I were raised by some of these contemporary parents.

I think the moral panic and fear is getting even worse.

And here's an example of car privilege: people say if the girl had fallen or gotten hit, the blame would be on the police for not stopping her earlier, or the mom for reckless endangerment. What about the driver of the car? Not ONE MENTION of culpability for speeding, reckless driving, distracted driving. The norm for the burden of culpability has shifted dramatically. What about the girl, if she had been the one behaving recklessly? She is old enough to know the road rules. It sounds like she does, and was at no fault. The police backpedaled and lied (the original police report is in circulation) to save face when this story blew up.

And, because we live in this culture of blame and fear, when the hard (a broken bone) or unimaginable (death, kidnapping) happens to a child, the parents live with the additional burden of guilt. As if the burden of losing a child isn't horrific enough.

I think there's a selfishness in not allowing your kids to do ANYTHING, because the risk to your heart is too great. Certainly, there are limits, and parents need to parent and set appropriate limits. But our definition of 'appropriate' has become insane and infantalizing.

Oh, and citing sex offender statistics for your area is a worthless measure of safety. That list also contains college streakers, guys that got drunk and pissed behind a building that one time, 18-year-olds who had relationships with 16-year-olds. According to our lawmakers, *I* should be on that list, condemned for life to de-facto house arrest, brutal monitoring, and de-facto unemployability, not to mention the mindless acts of vigilantism citizens commit on anybody unfortunate enough to wind up on that register. The whole system is a fucking wreck, and no authority will step up and do anything because zie will appear 'soft on sex offenders', or a 'supporter of child rapists'. Another example of our hysterical, dumbed-down, sound-bite-driven voting populace. Either make the list reserved for violent or predatory offenders, or eliminate it.

And let's reserve some of the moral outrage for people who won't slow the fuck down when they drive. Or who can't stop fiddling with their cell phones while barreling through a residential area at 45mph in a behemoth SUV. That is reckless child endangerment. Crack down on the drivers. Let kids have their childhoods.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-07 01:25 pm (UTC)
feuervogel: photo of the statue of Victory and her chariot on the Brandenburg Gate (Default)
From: [personal profile] feuervogel
What. The. Fuck.

I walked to school for 6 years. Well, home from school, mostly; my mom would drop us off on the way to work, then we'd walk home (to the empty house ohnoes and let ourselves in with keys!). I didn't get hit by cars or kidnapped or whatever, and I didn't even have the luxury of walking through some suburban housefarm.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-08 07:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trenchkamen.livejournal.com
A lot of the comments on that second link become vehemently classist when somebody reveals that the mother in question is a single mom-of-four on public assistance (the mother herself confirms this). I'm sure you can imagine. It's sick.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-07 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hiraku536.livejournal.com
Yeah, I walked to school myself in the past. Throughout my high school years, even.

Technically, I'd feel that you're also very likely to get robbed/harassed on buses and metro. I had friends who've seen fights break out on buses.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-08 07:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trenchkamen.livejournal.com
I caught way more shit on the school bus in high school than I ever did walking as a kid (after 3rd grade I lived at least 10 miles from school). Granted, from K-3 grade the school was one block away.

Kids can be brutal little shits.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-07 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitschaster.livejournal.com
Wtf? I walked to school all through elementary, middle school (on Santa Monica Blvd, no less), and to high school (through residential). The last portion of middle school and high school were spent walking alone. Never got roughed up or attacked once. I got leered at this one time, but that dirty guy kept himself to a distance.

Yeah, this is silly. Very silly, and if I ever have kids, and depending on where I live, my kids will most likely walk. *eyeroll* I've been on buses to and from school, and it's not pretty. I purposefully chose to walk over that hot mess.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-08 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trenchkamen.livejournal.com
I hope by the time that comes the whole mess will have died down, and schools won't have ordinances forbidding kids to arrive/depart alone to prevent lawsuits. And that crazy snoops aren't calling CPS on you for even trying.

I also hope our kids have recess. Real recess. That is also disappearing, due in equal part to standardized testing frenzy and fear of lawsuits from injuries.

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